Best Collection of Bob Hope Quotes

Bob Hope, American Comedian ( May 29, 1903 - July 27, 2003 )

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You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.~Bob Hope

Birthday Cake You

I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance - waiting for the bathroom.~Bob Hope

Dance Waiting Bathroom

I don't feel old. I don't feel anything till noon. That's when it's time for my nap.~Bob Hope

Time Age Feel

I do benefits for all religions - I'd hate to blow the hereafter on a technicality.~Bob Hope

Hate Religions Benefits

I have seen what a laugh can do. It can transform almost unbearable tears into something bearable, even hopeful.~Bob Hope

Humor Laugh Tears

If you haven't got any charity in your heart, you have the worst kind of heart trouble.~Bob Hope

Heart Charity You

A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it.~Bob Hope

Money You Place

I've always been in the right place and time. Of course, I steered myself there.~Bob Hope

Time Myself Place

She said she was approaching forty, and I couldn't help wondering from what direction.~Bob Hope

Help Direction She

A sense of humor is good for you. Have you ever heard of a laughing hyena with heart burn?~Bob Hope

Good Humor Heart

The good news is that Jesus is coming back. The bad news is that he's really pissed off.~Bob Hope

Good News Good News

Bigamy is the only crime where two rites make a wrong.~Bob Hope

Crime Two Wrong

If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf.~Bob Hope

Work Sports Fun

They'll always be an England, even if it's in Hollywood.~Bob Hope

Hollywood Always England

People who throw kisses are hopelessly lazy.~Bob Hope

Love People Lazy

If I have to lay an egg for my country, I'll do it.~Bob Hope

Patriotism Country Egg

Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle.~Bob Hope

Age Show Around

When she started to play, Steinway came down personally and rubbed his name off the piano.~Bob Hope

Name Play She

I have a wonderful make-up crew. They're the same people restoring the Statue of Liberty.~Bob Hope

Funny People Liberty

A James Cagney love scene is one where he lets the other guy live.~Bob Hope

Love Funny Live

I love to go to Washington - if only to be near my money.~Bob Hope

Love Funny Money

Kids are wonderful, but I like mine barbecued.~Bob Hope

Wonderful Mine Like

The only thing chicken about Israel is their soup.~Bob Hope

Chicken Soup Israel

The trees in Siberia are miles apart, that is why the dogs are so fast.~Bob Hope

Pet Trees Fast

When we recall the past, we usually find that it is the simplest things - not the great occasions - that in retrospect give off the greatest glow of happiness.~Bob Hope

Happiness Great Greatest

You never get tired unless you stop and take time for it.~Bob Hope

Time Tired You